a glimpse of the reality…

… i had been posting fun and happy moments in my life… but, we could not stay away from reality thus at times we should face the real world that is full of pains and distress…

…i had been raised with great respect and fear with my elders including to my parents… though i know that they are at times not right, i would just shut my mouth up and silently let my tears flow down my cheeks ..
but still i never had let hatred grew into my heart …

…since, i had been dreaming of staying away from home.. to stay away from reality… my miserable life… i maybe over reacting with my situation and i know that others had worser situation.. but i never had a perfect
family.. and had never felt blessed before… but through prayers i had learned to accept and understand them which made me thankful that i still have them… though i must admit that my father was doing some of his
responsibilities  but never been a “father” to us… but still i will not see this world without him…

…i usually find my happiness and love from my friends… what’s good about it was i now had a lot of friends… real friends…

…because i always thought of my future, i was determined to finish my studies and so i did… and was not lost on track.. if i only let my emotions control my life i may still be in school or worst never finished college…

…so i did… went to cebu, hoping to find my dreams and happiness … i did asked for some assistance from my mom at first cause i must admit i needed some moral and financial support before i could be independent…
i now had been enjoying my life… a single life in which my only worries is what food to eat, where to go to spend time with my friends and what to do to completely reach my goals… i may some sort of selfish, as am too focused with myself .. i never thought how is my mom and my siblings… i know it is not right but i dont want to feel the pain again… still, i could not escape from reality as they are my family… i need to keep in touch and know whats happening rather than saying hi, hello with them when i go home or when i send an sms…

…back to reality — i know there is a problem or there are problems but am very hesitant to know.. i know my mom is hurt so much with this even she does not show it… when you look at her, she maybe the strongest person u’ll ever known, and in some ways had a heart of stone but i know deep inside she’s fragile as a glass… specially when i saw her when she weeps silently…

…i maybe silent, but i know and understands each of our personalities (at home).. we may be different when we are with our friends when we are in our house… but one thing i know we search for friendship, trust and love…

…i guess we are just too practical not to be lost.. but still ones’ personality and attitude would still depend on how they were brought up

…now, am waiting… and trying to find a strength inorder to face this… am now again wearing my mask showing to everyone that everything is fine… even am already bleeding inside..

Team Building @ Hidden Paradise video